Crushed by Comparison? Cultivate YOUR Clarity
We’ve all heard the common expression “comparison is the thief of joy” and I’m sure most of us can agree this is true.
A challenging concept to adopt as a high performer is to stop the cycle of comparing yourself to other people.
We go to social media and see the highlight reel of everyone’s life and assume most have it all together. Everyone’s feed is typically the top 1% best parts of their life. So…
I can assure you - no person in this entire world has it all together.
We are complex, messy, and emotional. Although these make us beautifully human, it’s not as fun to share these parts of us with everyone.
When we only view the best or most shining parts of someone else’s journey, it can create a script that may sound like:
“You’ll never make it like they did.”
“[so-n-so] has [insert advantage/opportunity/connection] so they can achieve [accomplishment] while I don’t have any of that.”
“They really seem to be happy all the time and have it all together.”
“I could never have their discipline.”
As soon as the mind has shifted into comparison mode, its stress response is activated. Cortisol (the stress hormone) is released and slows down memory, focus, and fires up the fight-of-flight systems.
This is why the more time we spend comparing to other people’s “perfect” online or accomplishments, the more we feel anxious, full of self-doubt, and depleted of any confidence.
The truth is, your journey, your forged path, your experience, and your results are unique to you and ONLY YOU.
To beat the Comparison Game, be aware of the story happening in your mind and start with awareness:
How often are you comparing yourself to others?
What bothers you most when you see someone else succeed?
What can you control in your training / preparation / every day life?
Take note of your answers to the above questions, and remember that energy goes where our thoughts go - it’s time to flip the script on the Comparison Game.
Here are strategies stop comparing yourself to others:
Stay in Your Lane
Mentioned above, your results are unique to you and ONLY YOU. Every person peaks at different times, has different opportunities, and builds their resume using different techniques.
Focus on growth and progress (not gaps and being perfect all the time)
Real competition is YOU vs. YOU (compete with your past self)
Control the Controllable factors (attitude, energy, body language, approach/mindset, nutrition, hydration, etc.)
Presence over Performance
There is power in the present moment. Intentionally practicing to get into the present is a valuable, game-changing skill.
Practice meditation (the art of noticing thoughts have wandered, and coming back to the present)
Functional self-talk (process vs. outcome - focus on what you are doing, not how well you’re doing it)
Cultivate Clarity
The real flex is knowing yourself deeply and having the ability to manage emotions / thoughts / breath.
Practice journaling (write out your unlived life / dump thoughts / shift attention to what you do have and who you are becoming)
Positive and Negative Visualization (rehearse and imagine who you are becoming / how you want to be performing / how you will bounce back when faced with obstacles or mistakes)
Breathwork (spend 1 to 20 minutes being aware and working with your breath)
It is a primal instinct to compare and understand the hierarchy of a group of people.
We can not eliminate comparing yourself against others, but we can sure become more aware and force close those habits when they emerge.
Train your mind to:
Protect YOUR joy
Build YOUR clarity
Work for what YOU want
Show up relentlessly for YOUR growth
It’s YOUR journey and YOURS alone.
Who cares what / how / when everyone else is doing it.
You have the power to design and create your own life!
What is one strategy mentioned in this post you can commit to today that builds awareness and stops the Comparison Game cycle in your mind?
